Knowing Myself
by BlackRoseVixen05
Summary: After a stressful and unusual day, Saionji does a bit of reflecting in front of his mirror. Based on an SKU RPG. POST SERIES!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Revolutionary Girl Utena, its characters, nor am I making money for writing this. I do, however, own the plot of this fanfiction.**

**Author's Note: This is a drabble/one-shot I have written based on an RPG I'm involved in. This is some of it's most recent events. I know only a handful of people here will understand what's going on, but any nice comments would make meh feel all fuzzy inside.**

**Begin**

_'Hell of a day…'_

That's all Saionji could think as he stepped into his dorm. He closed the door behind himself and slumped back against it. Yes, it had been a tiring day indeed and he was glad to have it finally over. Saionji stepped out of his shoes and switched on the hallway light. He then pushed away from the door and headed into his kitchen.

He retrieved a melon-flavored bottle of vitamin water from the refrigerator, popped the top, and took a long drink. Saionji gave a satisfied sigh when he at last lowered the bottle from his lips. He hadn't realized how thirsty he'd actually been.

With his half-gone drink in tow, Saionji left the dimly lit kitchenette and started through his living room. He undid the buttons of his uniform jacket as he walked, soon coming to a stop when he reached the sofa. Saionji put the water bottle down on a near-by Ohtori coaster that decorated the coffee table and then flopped down on the downy-soft couch pillows.

Again he sighed, as he lay there on his back. The breath hadn't been to indicate being tired. He felt more weary than anything…just worn out…worn down. He concluded that that was everyday, though, wasn't it?

One positive thing he could say, still, was that at least he had his body back. Being trapped in the form of Akio Ohtori hadn't been the picnic a lesser-informed person would think it to be. For him, it had been absolute Hell.

He chuckled to himself as he thought, _'It was Hell on two legs.'_

Saionji continued to stare at the ceiling and his mind soon began to wander. His thoughts brought him back to a conversation he'd had with the Chairman.

The man had so knowingly accused him of loathing his own body. Saionji wanted to scoff at the memory, but he couldn't bring himself to do that. The Chairman hadn't been totally correct in his comment, but he hadn't been totally wrong either. Besides a few things, Saionji couldn't think of much that he did appreciate about his body.

Thoughtfully, the Kendo captain lifted his hands above his face and studied them. His fingers were long, his nails cut short, and his palms were callused from years of handling a sword. These were his hands.

This was all well and good, but Saionji wondered, did he actually _like_ them?

He thought for a moment and decided that he did. After all, these were the hands that bathed him, that brushed his hair, cooked his meals, ironed his clothes, and held his sword. His hands did a lot for him, things no one else would do if he weren't able to. So he was grateful to them.

Yes, he liked them.

Saionji lowered his hands after his little analysis was over. It had been a smashing success. _'Take that, Mr. Chairman.'_

Sitting up, the green-haired teen picked up his bottle of water and took another drink. He felt oddly inspired now. Something inside him was urging him on, making him want to know more about, well…himself.

It was late, but Saionji was sure that he wouldn't be able to get any solid sleep at this point anyway. He figured, _'Might as well do a little self-discovery.'_ He thought it was probably best to act on this impulse now before it was gone. He wasn't sure when or if it would return if he chose to ignore it.

Saionji stood from the couch then and went back to the kitchen to return the bottle to the fridge. Once that was done, he turned and proceeded back through the living area. A few extra strides and he was soon in his private chambers: his bedroom. He didn't bother closing the door. Who was watching?

The Green Rose turned on the room's main light and then went over to his closet. It took a bit of searching, but Saionji eventually located the large, full-length mirror hiding near the dark, back wall. This mirror was one of the few furniture items Saionji brought with him when he transferred to Ohtori all those years ago. He vaguely remembered getting the mirror from his Grandmother, but he wasn't quite sure. No shocker there.

Saionji closed the closet door after carefully removing the mirror. He sat it up against the door and angled it in such a way that he would be able to see his entire body. His reflection was a little clouded by the layers of dust, but he knew that this was nothing a few squirts of glass clearer and a rag wouldn't fix.

That task was soon finished and Saionji then moved onto his next one. He began to undress, taking off his socks, jacket, and then his slacks. He paused a moment to debate whether or not to remove his underwear, which was a simple pair of black shorts. Saionji eventually decided against it. He was pretty familiar with that part of his body anyway.

Stripped down, the Kendo captain went to stand before the mirror. He stared at himself, and his reflection stared back. _'Why does this feel so awkward?'_ Saionji breathed a small sigh and tilted his head, wondering where to begin. Finally, he set his mind on starting with his height.

The last time he'd been measured was about a month ago while in the nurse's office. He stood at an impressive 6"4, which was quite a bit taller than he had been when he first transferred to Ohtori. There were only a handful of people Saionji could think of who were near his height, and even less who were taller. Still, he supposed that being as tall as he was could be considered a good thing. It had its perks.

Instead of just picking another random place to study, Saionji thought it might be easier to just move from the ground up. Next, he'd examine his feet.

A light scowl on his face, he bent over a little in order to look down at his lower extremities. Besides all the obvious purposes they served, Saionji could see nothing particularly special about his feet. There was nothing interesting here. He moved on.

Saionji brought his eyes back up to gaze at his reflection in the mirror. He then lowered them just a tad in order to settle on his legs. He examined them as a whole, including his thighs and hips. To get a better look, he turned slightly to the left, and then to the right. His legs were naturally long and quite lean due to all his athletic activities. At the same time, they were also slender and feminine, much like the rest of him. He guessed that they could even be referred to as attractive. They were curvy, well developed, and shapely, with good muscle tone.

Moving right along...he took in his torso.

This was an area of his body that Saionji already knew he liked. His waist was small and his belly was flat and toned. His chest and shoulders were broad and well sculpted. He thought he looked very matured despite his young age.

He studied his arms next. Smooth, slender, and defined they were, much like his legs. Saionji could see the faint blue color of his veins as they ran along underneath his skin, the lines traveling all the way up his shoulder and into his neck. His arms, too, were a pass. So…hmm, the neck.

In order to get the best view of said location, Saionji stepped closer to the mirror and lowered himself to the floor, now sitting Indian-style on the carpet. He then scooted as close to the glass as he could get without being too uncomfortable. Saionji lifted his hands to his throat and touched his skin, letting his hands travel up until he reached his cheeks. He decided that he didn't know what an acceptable neck should look like, but his turned his head just fine, so why knock it. He then began to examine the lines of his face, as well as the shape of his lips and nose.

Saionji noted that he wasn't square-jawed like those heartthrobs girls loved to watch on television. His face was sharper, more detailed. He was straight-nosed and he thought his lips were rather pouty. He smacked them together, pursed them, and then returned them to normal. Saionji wondered if they looked that way all the time. Oh, what the hell, his lips were fine too.

Hands lifting to his eyes, he gave a few gentle tugs and pulls at the flesh near the outside of his face. Doing this caused the shape of his eyes to alter, making them narrower, wider, or droopier. Saionji held them in the narrower position for a minute or two, before finally letting go. His eyes returned to their natural, almond-shaped state. He thought they seemed pretty standard, but at least their color made them look a little more…unique. He'd never seen anyone else on campus that shared his eyes' electric violet hue. Saionji felt a certain pride swell in his chest over this for some reason.

He let his hands drop back to his lap then. He sat still for a moment before reaching up once again to move his hair aside so that he could see his right ear. It was small, pale, and not pierced. Neither of them was. But, he still felt satisfied with them.

Saionji reached up with both his hands and slid them into the thick, wavy mass that was his hair. Since he was sitting down, his hair had pooled on the floor behind him. Grabbing two sections with both fists, he brought his hair forward, letting it drape over his shoulders and down his chest. He ran his hands through it, feeling the silky weight between his fingers, a few strands catching on his fingernails.

Curiously, Saionji gathered his hair and moved it all to one side, bringing it to lay across his left shoulder. He then looped his thumb and index finger around a section of it to give the illusion of it being held by a band. A bitter smile came to his face, remembering how he used to wear his hair this way when he was little. Shaking his head, he let go and returned his hand to his lap.

"Stupid…" he murmured.

"Meow," came the unexpected reply from the bed.

Saionji turned around to see his little feline friend lying comfortably on the foot of his bed. "And how long have you been there?" he asked with annoyed curiosity as he leaned back on his arms. "Long enough?"

The cat meowed again and then hopped off of the bed. It padded over to Saionji and rubbed against his side, purring affectionately. The Green Rose growled at the cat's actions but did nothing to stop them. He glanced over at the digital clock adorning his nightstand and saw that it was almost eleven. It was about time to bring this "journey of self- discovery" to an end. All in all, he thought it hadn't been so bad. Not as weird, or…as awkward as he had thought. It would be far too much to call it an enlightening experience, but Saionji wanted to think that it had done him some good somehow.

Rising to his feet, Saionji began to make his way over to the light switch. Getting there was a little difficult, though, with his pesky guest weaving in between his legs as he walked. The lights were soon off and Saionji turned to go to his bed. He sat down when he reached his destination. Saionji put his hair up into a ponytail and then flopped onto his side. He sighed contently at the comforting feeling of his mattress.

That contented sigh became an irritated one when Saionji felt the cat curl up against his back. The animal began to purr happily, totally ignoring any and all discomfort signals Saionji was giving off.

_'Selfish beast…'_ the Kendo-ka thought as he pulled up his covers. He shut his eyes and tried to relax. _'Yep, hell of a day…'_

Saionji was soon lulled to sleep by the sound of the feline's purring snores.

**End**


End file.
